1000 Blank White Cards

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IMAGE RESIZED. Each player must discard 20% of their cards in play, rounding down.

Cat-a-pillar-o-nine-tails. +200 points +200 cuteness +60 torture.

Caught goofing off at work! Reprimanded for using proxy to hack through firewall to use non-secure chat feature on GMAIL while at work! -400 points and lose bargaining leverage for more vacation days.

Kakdamnit, who beat the crap out of my squirrel piñata?! Gah! (Draw) Take as many cards as there are players, plus one. Place them all face down in the middle of the playing area equidistant from all. (On the count of three) Grab them as fast as you can, one at a time, using ONE hand. The person who has the most loot grabbed must shrilly shriek "¡Pero que ardilla mas fea!" and then play resumes with them.

Nose Ark. Boogers aligning two by two. Draw two more cards.

WTF, oblique Tetris?! Non-standard oversized three-dimensional Tetris piece does not fit at the angle it's descending at! Lose 1024 points and the (Tetris) GAME.

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Booze-Pirate = Democracy. +200 if you're a responsible voter, else be keel-hauled.

Scorpiosaurus vehemently despises astrological references or inquiry!! +100 points +300 more if you were born between October 24th and November 22nd.

PORTAL OF DOOM. Physically trade places with another player, leaving all played cards as is (and maintaining hands).

Princess Pea ated your bedding. Discard two cards in play.

Melon Collie is very sad. And Blind. lose 300 points.

Hypercube should not have eaten that frosted brownie before bed! -200 points +620 calories.

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A yak just yakked on your front lawn. -250 points.

This is not Feux Pho. Bona Fide Pho. Bonified Pho! intestinified as well. +200 points +560 mg Sodium points.

EXTRACT ART. +300 points.

Rainbow-coloured Nudibranch. +200 points +100 cuteness points.

Minimalism Rocks. The goal is to habe the least number of cards when the deck runs out.

THE SPICE. Spice is a variety of life. We NEED the spice! The object of the game is to have the most different kinds of points when the deck runs out.

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Gatorade Bottle to the Head. -100 points +108 zen realization.

Five o'clock nose shadow. so what? Everyone has one. This card is pretty much worthless.

Chrono snail slips backwards down the well of time! Bring back two cards from the discard pile and put them into your hand.

The discard pile should be inside of someone's shoe. What a great idea! Make it happen! [with chin-jut to Erik]

Actual petunia flower stain. Petunias are delicious! +50 points for every edible flower you can name in ten seconds.

Every happy lil' tree needs a special lil' friend. Bob Ross would be proud +20 points +100 artistic points +100 autistic points.